demo

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Hyper Live Presents

Dr. Brady’s Oral Fixation

Dr. Brady Smith

Dr. Bert Walpack

6:30pm doors, 8pm show

$42.27 Advance GA Seated, $47.94 Day Of Show GA Seated, $47.94 Advance Balcony, $53.86 Day Of Show Balcony, $59.27 Advance Golden Circle, $65.19 Day Of Show Golden Circle

21 and over

Share this event

Add to Calendar

Dr. Brady’s Oral Fixation

Dr. Brady’s Oral Fixation

Prepare for a laughter-filled root canal with "Oral Fixation"! Join Dr. Brady Smith and Dr. Bert Walpack, two dentists turned comics, as they extract humor from the depths of the dental world.

Dr. Brady Smith brings his own brand of humor to the table, with a mix of brutally honest life stories, outrageous tales from the dental trenches, and a knack for turning the mundane into the absurd, Brady delivers a comedy experience that's raw, relatable, and absolutely hilarious. He combines his love of dentistry, philanthropy, and irreverent humor into a one-of-a-kind style that leaves audiences in stitches. Prepare to laugh until your face hurts.

Dr. Bert Walpack, with his sharp wit and infectious charm, shares side-splitting stories of his most eccentric patients - from the daredevils who treat their teeth like bottle openers to the germaphobes who demand dental treatment in hazmat suits. With Dr. Walpack's comedic prowess, every dental mishap becomes a laugh-out loud adventure. Together they navigate the ups and downs of running a dental practice, they provide a humorous glimpse into the daily grind of dentistry.

With their infectious humor and razor-sharp wit, Dr. Walpack and Dr. Smith promise an evening of side-splitting laughter that will leave you smiling brighter than a freshly polished set of teeth. Don't miss "Dr. Brady's: Oral Fixation" - the only comedy show where the punchlines are as sharp as the dental instruments!

Dr. Brady Smith

Dr. Brady Smith

Dr. Brady Smith, DDS, the Spokane native returned to his home state of Washington, where he established his Comfort Dental practice in Camas. Inspired to give back, Brady launched the popular DRILLED with Dr. Brady, a podcast to help educate and demystify dentistry. Now a father of four, Dr. Brady enjoys playing basketball with his sons between saving smiles. Dr. Brady Smith isn't just fixing teeth, shattering stereotypes of what a dentist can be. By day, he transforms smiles in the dental chair, but by night, he's tearing up comedy stages with his no-holds-barred humor and razor-sharp wit. 

Dr. Bert Walpack

Dr. Bert Walpack

Dr. Bert Walpack is a comedian from New Jersey. He is a tall, gray haired, lanky, waspy, father of three who runs a dental practice during the day but keeps his smoldering comedy career alive at night. Now living in Eugene, Oregon he performs throughout the Pacific Northwest. He likes to tell jokes about what it is like to hold needles and drills in people's mouths. Bert has opened for Todd Barry and Steve Hofstetter. He has performed in the Hell Yes Comedy Festival, the B4Udie Comedy Festival, the Portland Maine Festival and Don't Tell Comedy shows. Check out his stand up special on Spotify titled "1 out of 5 Dentists". 

Events

The Crystal Ballroom

1332 W. Burnside
Portland OR 97209

(503) 225-0047
Contact us

Where On Any Night, Anything Can Happen!!

In these walls...

The historic Crystal Ballroom -- now over a century old -- is one of those rare concert halls that can point to a proud, diverse history while also laying claim to an ongoing musical legacy. Every time you enter this majestic ballroom, let your imagination sense the tremors resonating from a century's worth of gatherings, and realize that you are joining a thriving, generations-long procession of show-goers. Welcome!

 

Tech Specs

Floor and stage plan
PDF download

Lighting diagram 
PDF download

Sound manifest
Crystal:
PDF download
Lola's Room: 
PDF download

Technical and logistical packet
For Crystal Ballroom & Lola's Room
PDF download

Ballroom height and beam-to-beam dimensions
16' 11" from beam to floor
19' 11" from floor to ceiling
14' 6" in between beams

Promoter Info

Rental Expenses To Outside Promoters

RENT VARIES, PLEASE CONTACT A BOOKING COORDINATOR
$900  SOUND & LIGHTS
$365  PRODUCTION MANAGER ($54.75/hr OT)
$255  STAGE MANAGER ($38.32/hr OT)
$255  FOH TECHNICIAN ($38.32/hr OT)
$255  MONITOR ENGINEER ($38.32/hr OT)
$255  LIGHTING DIRECTOR ($38.32/hr OT)
$150  HOSPITALITY ($20/hr OT) [mileage is 33 cents per mile]
$1,000*  SECURITY ($100/hr OT)
$100  BOX OFFICE STAFF ($20/hr OT)
$200  ADMINISTRATION FEE
$ ----  PARKING HOODS
$ ----  CHAIR RENTAL ($2 per chair)
$ ----  ADVERTISING
$500  PIPE AND DRAPE/BARRICADE
$175  STAGEHANDS
$ ----  BOX OFFICE CREDIT CARD FEE (3% of Box Credit Card Sales)

* Security cost is an estimate. Additional security may be required depending on the nature of the event. 

Overtime: All expenses incurred by the Crystal Ballroom for Catering, Advertising, requested stagehands, overtime (anything over 10 hours), backline, barricade, risers, etc. will be added to total rental rate.

Deposits: A non-refundable 50% room deposit and a $2,500 'untenured promoter fee' (UPF) is due immediately in order to secure the room. If ticket sales exceed 500 the 'UPF' will be refunded; if ticket sales are below 500 the room keeps the entire $2,500 to make up for less than 1/3 capacity and corresponding lack of sales. The 'UPF' will not be refunded if the event cancels within 60 days of the event.

Settlement: Venue will pay renter with a company check at the immediate conclusion of door sales. Venue will not provide any cash at settlement.

Late Night Fee: There is a $1,000/hour additional fee for any events after 3 a.m. We may also require additional security for events of that nature.

Merchandise: Merch rate is 20% they sell. We can provide a seller with advance notice and will keep 30% of sales. The outside promoter will receive no revenue from the merchandise as that is the prerogative of the house. House keeps a percentage of all transactions.

Tickets: All tickets must be placed through the venue onto the Cascade Tickets system. All comps, label buys, and holds must be approved by the venue. There is a $2/ticket venue fee at the Box Office.

Refunds: All refunds will be directed to the outside promoter. In the absence of an outside promoter representative, the venue shall use its own discretion regarding refunds and all refunds shall be deducted from settlement.

Insurance and Licenses: Renter must provide liability insurance not less than $1,000,000 for any single occurrence naming McMenamins Inc. d.b.a. Crystal Ballroom as additionally insured. Tickets will not be placed on sale until binder is received. Promoter is responsible for all ASCAP, BMI, and SESAC fees.

Production Advance: Performers or their representative must contact venue's production manager 5 days prior to the event in order to advance production needs, otherwise runner will arrive at 6 p.m. and all rider items/requests will be greatly limited if provided at all.

Layout: The Crystal Ballroom is located on the 3rd floor. The first floor is Ringlers Restaurant and the 2nd floor is Lola's Room, both of which may have a public or private event simultaneously with the Crystal.

Cancellation/Postponement: The contract covers the specified event for the specified date. No substitution will be accepted for a cancellation. If the event is postponed the room deposit will be transferred to the date of the new event but the $2,500 'UPF' will be applied toward the date of the originally scheduled show and an additional $2,500 will be required in order to reschedule.

Capacity: The venue's capacity is 1500*. All artist and promoter guests and comps will be deducted from sellable. Comp and guest space must be reserved in advance. House is entitled to 20 guests. House guests will not effect sellable. Promoter must have guest list to house no later than 2 hours prior to doors. VIP cap is 25.

* Seated capacity is 850. Seated shows must be 21 and over. There is a $2/chair rental fee.

Venue and corporate sponsor banners may be present during event.

Marketing your event at the Crystal Ballroom

Please contact Mike Walker for information about marketing your event through McMenamins resources.

Box Office

Please note! Both the Crystal Ballroom and Lola's Room specialize in open-floor shows with a very limited amount of seats. The rare seated events will be clearly denoted as such, within the event description on our schedule page.

Box Office Information

Tickets for all McMenamins shows are ticketed by Cascade Tickets, and may be purchased at the Crystal box office (located under the Crystal's awning) and McMenamins Edgefield, by phone at 1-855-CAS-TIXX, or by clicking the "Buy Tickets" link located at the event listing on our schedules.

Tickets bought directly at the Crystal box office or any of our four ticket outlets will only incur a $1 facility charge. (Please note! Tickets to Edgefield Concerts on the Lawn will incur additional service fees.)

Crystal Ballroom Box Office Hours 
Daily, 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m.
The box office is open later on nights when there is a performance.

The box office accepts cash, VISA, MasterCard, American Express and DiscoverCard.

Will Call

Will call is located at the box office.

Refunds

All ticket purchases are non-refundable.

Parking

There are three pay lots nearby, and street parking is available.

Accessibility

Those with disabilities may call (503 225 0047) or email in advance to arrange early admittance.

There is an elevator located in the lobby.

Hold your Private Event at Crystal Ballroom

Weddings  Meetings  Social Events

The Crystal Ballroom is a truly awe-inspiring venue with its vaulted ceilings, grand chandeliers, giant wallscapes and famous "floating" dance floor. Accommodating groups from 100 to 1000 people, this 7,500-square-foot space includes access to the Ballroom's classic corner stage, floor-to-ceiling windows, swooping balcony, and full bar service.

Tucked in the Crystal’s second story is Lola’s Room accommodating events of up to 200 guests.  Lola’s comes with a handsome fully stocked bar, original artwork, and a floating dance floor all it’s own.

For overnight accommodations, our Crystal Hotel is just a block away!

Contact our sales team to inquire or book your event.
Get Started Here

Art

Artwork plays an important role in the character of McMenamins locations throughout Oregon and Washington. We believe art makes life richer and more enjoyable. So, you'll often find paintings covering our walls, ceilings doors, overhead pipes, and equipment -- works as diverse and entertaining as our places for family and friends. Many artists have contributed to this vast variety of delightful eye candy. Jump in and enjoy some now!

History

 

 

Explore the Crystal Blocks

Our Crystal Hotel and legendary Crystal Ballroom are just across the street from each other, each offering their own unique spaces for live music, Northwest style fare and McMenamins hand crafted beverages.  Explore these properties and all they have to offer. 

Crystal Ballroom Property

Crystal Ballroom  Lola's Room  Ringlers Pub  Crystal Brewery

Crystal Hotel Property

Crystal Hotel  Al's Den  Ringlers Annex  Zeus Cafe

Contact Us  |  Join Our List  |  Passport Program  |  Music Booking Inquiry  |  Employment (Español) |  Privacy Policy  |  Accessibility  |  Gift Cards  |  Donations  |  COVID

Site handcrafted in Ashland, Oregon by Project A

Daily Fresh Sheet

Copyright © 2017-2025 McMenamins Inc. All rights reserved.